1225 (play)

"Clear No Doubt Maybe"

(sometimes they go both ways)

Having done what could be done to explore one concept for over a year I decided to move on.  I am having withdrawal symptoms.  In this case they could be called re-drawal symptoms. 

I jumped into a string of so many poor and/or mediocre at best works.  Doing this while I have walls and flat-file drawers of what can be considered some very good works.  It is causing the questions - the indecision - the doubt - the lack of satisfaction that I was accustomed to avoiding.  And I continue to hope this is the correct decision.    

Wherever I am going is beginning to take a toll on my conviction that moving on was such a good idea.  To stop using twigs and sticks as a staring point.  To stop considering myself the arbiter and illustrator of what was surrounding the twig and its essence.  To stop being the person who gave these pieces of trees new life.  To stop being their admirer.  The one who was attempting to receive what was actually so very special about these tree bones constantly falling to the earth around us.  Being open to them.  Always looking.  Always practicing.  This is quite easy to miss and even yearn for.  I miss the scarecrow.  I can only hope I made the right decision and that I will eventually understand.  What I am doing.  Where I am going.  What moving on means.

Thank you for looking at this string of poor and/or mediocre at best works.  I must get beyond this.  I will keep going wherever that may be.  I will make it work.  However.  The sooner the better.  For both of us.  Thank You.